When I was a student in Bologna, I had a friend who`s job was to test the so called "pillolo" (man`s pill) on himself. Students do this and many other peculiar things to pay their studies. The researchers from Bologna were trying to come up with the pill that could be used on and by men, instead of women, to control fertility. I thought that was a good thing, but I didn`t follow the experiment so I don`t know right know if it made it to the market and how is the research going. 

 

Here I`m talking about a handy dandy microscope you spit on so to inspection your saliva and therefore see if you are fertile or not. It caught my imagination straight away. It was like science finally made it to the woman`s purse. It was like science finally considered making it to the woman`s purse and in order to do so built a tiny microscope in shape of a lipstick. Genious. The purpose of the microscope disguised in lipstick is to monitor woman`s fertile days and tell her by the shape of the little things in her saliva weather she`s pregnant or not. If the "little things" are round and spotty, the ovulation hasn`t started yet, if there are some "fern" geometrical patterns, even if small, the ovulation is fully on or on her way to. So, you decide what to do in order of what you want: baby yes, baby not. The main goal of this curious product is to be used in case of wanted pregnancy and the manufacturers warn us not to use it for the opposite purpose, since they can`t guarantee the 99% efficiency. But even without manufacturer`s guarantee you can still do what you want. Anyway, Robin Lim and Jeannine Parvati Baker suggest you can use it and see what to do about your most fertile days. I found that fascinating, above other empirical methods like mucus watching. 

Most of all, I find it useful after giving birth and breastfeeding. On that time you`re not supposed to have ovulation for a while. But how much time? Nobody knows. So, I bought this ovulation microscope to know and see when I`m going to start ovulating. The one I bought is called FOCUS^TM and I got it at MumStuff. But you have many choices of other brands. It was shipped quickly and I received it in about six days, though it came in my hands only few weeks later since I was in Bali and my partner brought it from Rome when he was there. At first I didn`t know how to handle it. I read the instructions carefully, but they were not very clear in my opinion. I spet on every part of that thing that might be considered "the lens". I couldn`t see anything but a yellow-green light flashing from the inside when I was pushing on a tiny button on one side of the lipstick and placing my eye enthusiastically on the viewfinder. The overall impression was that the item was quite flimsy and I thought I bought a cheap trick. Not to mention my partner who was making jokes of my curiosity to try unusual products. I tried every day for one week and couldn`t get a clue. I left it there standing beside my bed. I admired the lovely lipstick case. Then three days ago it fell on the floor and went in pieces. The pieces were detachable. I know that it`s not a good thing when the lens falls on the floor, any lens, and I imagined it was the end of my scientific experience. But when the microscope fell twice I said to myself, while goddamin`, it might be a good thing. The lens fell completely, there was only the microscopic torch inside the round body and my intuition was telling me I was spitting on the wrong place all the time. Full of hope I spet on the last layer of a little glass that was "the lens". The torch was barely blinking but I could see more then ever before, I could see the whole open view on round and spotty "little things"! Wow... And then the torch died followed by my grief and disillusion. OK, now I learned where to spit, I tried to think positive. The next day I woke up, did my things and glanced at the lipstick. I took off the whole lens packet and spet on it casually. Left it dry for 5 minutes, as it says into the instructions, put my eye on the viewfinder, pushed the light button and the world of "little things" opened for me as if by magic!

 

It initiated a whole new era in my life. 

 

Edit: 05-07-2010

After few months of trying with the half broken microscope that sometimes flashed and sometimes didn`t flash the light into the little glass, I didn`t see any ferning. I saw dots of any shape, but they remained dots. I came to the conclusion, I don`t fern.